I’m still not sure what “European features” are.
"Her eyebrows called to mind the curve of the Arc de Triomphe and her breasts were like the rising domes of two twin Saint Paul’s Cathedrals.”
"His erection was like the tower of Pisa: Stubby, bending to the right, slowly collapsing, and featuring in far too many embarrassing photos."
"Her legs were like the legacy of colonial Imperialism: They went on for fucking ages"
"Taking her top off was like the Tower Bridge opening: It stopped traffic."